tapestodiane | 020 - action + audio

Entry tags:

020 - action + audio

[Audio recordings to Diane; not on the network]

_{(August 14th)}
Am starting to feel overcome by a familiar, dark, oppressive feeling. Fairly certain it is the onset of a depression, but at this time I am reluctant to label it as such. For the most part I feel haunted by a perpetual hopelessness. Feeling emotionally numb. Am not sure what to do.

_{(August 17th)}
Diane, I never thought I would say this without hesitation, but at this point in time I would like to go home. While my life there is significantly grayer and I would greatly miss my both pokémon and some of the people I have met in this world, I can't help but feel like I would have a lot less to lose. It is a much rarer event back home for people to disappear without warning.

Believe the last thing I said to Applejack was "talk to you later."

_{(August 18th)}
Diane ... I am finding it increasingly difficult to find some kind of peace in Johto. Ecruteak is doing little to distract me from these thoughts. Think I will try to find France.

[Private audio to France:] France, it's Cooper. Are you still in Ecruteak?
_{[He sounds sort of tired, but otherwise carefully neutral.]}

[Action:] _{[You can run into him anywhere in Ecruteak, where he'll be spending time walking practically every street, looking a little closed off. Unless you find him by night - he'll be near the lake, looking at the half moon.]}

[Audio, broadcasted to the network; nighttime:] All things considered, it wasn't too long ago people believed you would go crazy if the moon shone on you while you slept.
_{[Enjoy that little bit of information, Johto.]

(ooc: BACKDATED to thursday the 18th.)}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... okay. Thank you.

_{[Pronouncing it like "okei", he appreciates it - a lot. And when the waitress comes around he asks for coffee and two jelly donuts.]}

It's no trouble at all.

[Sasha orders a cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate cake for himself. After the waitress leaves, he stays quiet for a few minutes, before deciding to speak up once more.]

I won't force you to talk about it, but it's not good to keep your feelings completely bottled up.

_{[Yeah, he knows this. He's fiddling absently with a napkin that was lying around as he leans back somewhat.]}

I don't think there's a whole lot to say about it. It's one of Johto's crueler tricks; people appear ... and disappear.

...Yes, I know. But I don't think you're friends would want to see you like this.

[Sasha finds himself watching Cooper's actions idly, still struggling with what to say. The silence continues even after the waitress comes back with their orders and leaves just as quickly.]

_{[He thanks the waitress and starts breaking one of the donuts into smaller pieces before popping one of them into his mouth - and he closes his eyes momentarily in the bliss that is food. Especially sweet food. Point to Sasha - he had the right idea.]

[But having swalled it down with some coffee (coffee), he sighs and does make a bit of an attempt to explain.]}

The nature of this place bothers me. It's an amazing world and we get to know it and people we never would have met otherwise - but everything points to the fact that we'll likely not remember anything of it when we return home, which, in effect, renders everything that happens here meaningless.

The world has to have a positive and negative effect equally on us. I suppose they strip our memories away when we leave in order to keep our dimensions from collapsing. As for taking away...I like to believe those people have something they need to finish back home.

[He gives the long scientific spiel first, before taking up his coffee mug and drinking slowly from it. After a long day of traveling, the sweet black elixir makes him feel much better.]

Does the coffee meet your expectations?

_{[Cooper eats another piece of donut as he listens and takes a second to finish it before answering.]}

Either way, I believe my point still stands.

_{[Leaning back slightly, he takes another sip and offers a small smile.]}

Not quite as good as in Violet. But it's warm and bitter enough -- better than decent.

Without a doubt.

[He just nods, sitting his coffee mug down and looking forward at Cooper. Losing people and friends, he can most certainly relate to that.]

Good...I was worried that my choice wasn't up to your satisfaction. If there's anything else I can do, please don't hesitate to let me know.

I can down anything that isn't served by airlines. There should be a law against what those people do to coffee.

_{[He nods, says "alright" and proceeds to eat more donut pieces. sugarrrr. He's probably not going to sleep tonight with all these things in his system, but hey.]}

I completely agree with you...[Sasha stops for a moment to stare at his untouched piece of cake. Conflicting emotions and memories rush into his head as he picks up a nearby fork, twirling it in his hand.]

I feel like we've had this discussion before...maybe when I was here the first time. I'm not going to worry about it though. When are you planning on challenging the gym?

I don't know. That should likely be a while.

_{[He preferred doing that after getting to know the towns.]}

There's nothing wrong with that. I think I might take up a job here in order to build my finances up. I'm nowhere near your trainer level, after all. [And he smiles, before taking a small bite of cake. Yes, this sugar will probably keep him up, but that's how Sasha lives his life. Little sleep and all work.]

Have you visited the legendary towers yet? I only walked by them briefly, but I've heard they're one of the towns major landmarks.

Well, I have been here ten months.

_{[-- mental balk at that shortly after he's said it. That's a pretty long time, and he'd almost not realized.]}

No, not yet. But I will be sure to visit them sooner or later. I've heard a lot about them.

And to think, not a single second has passed back home. It's probably for the better...I'd have more paperwork than any normal person could handle waiting for me.

[He just laughs lightly to himself.]

Sorry if I'm asking too many questions. Normally when I find myself getting depressed I try to think about other things.

The paperwork is a killer. I consider myself lucky to be working in the field at the moment.

_{[Nevermind that the case is crazy. He looks up though, and indicates another nod. He understands - he's not back on his animated self yet and speaks in a little more monotone than usual, but hey. Getting there.]}

Makes sense.

Oh yes. Alas, the Psychonauts like to spread that work evenly, so each agent gets their share of field and paperwork.

[Sasha is starting to feel like he's making progress, but in another way, he feels like he's doing very little to help Cooper out. Call it a fear of failure instinct.]

Perhaps. What made you choose to join the FBI, by the way?

_{[Ah, with Coop, it's mostly a matter of time. He always jumps back after a couple of days or weeks - he just needs to regroup and deal, and it always takes him to a very dark place before he can get back up on his game.]

The ideals. Wanting to help.

_{[What else? Dividing his second donut into pieces at this point.]}

The bad guys need to have someone on their tail.}

[Depression takes everyone to a dark place and Sasha knows this all too well. However, even now, he starting to realize that he never had the willpower to pull himself out of it. The situation always resulted in his partners or boss pulling him out of depression. Which is why Sasha is generally concerned for Cooper: he doesn't want the FBI agent slipping into a black hole and being unable to get out.]

That's very noble. I figured you picked the career after realizing your skills at a certain age.

[He takes another bite of cake calmly, savoring the taste.]

Someone always has to take out the bad guys. I've seen some of the smartest and stupidest criminals in my line of work.

_{[There's been a time when he very nearly didn't manage - and everything pales to that in comparison, which is why he'll live through this one. In a way, he's just in a state of mourning right now. It's a loss like any other, after all.]}

I wanted to join the FBI when I was fourteen. It was years later I realized it was a possibility.

_{[Eating another piece, he doesn't really have a good answer for that, but gives the generall look of Yeah, I know what you mean.]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

020 - action + audio

[action]

Re: [action]

[action]

Re: [action]

[action]

Re: [action]

[action]

Re: [action]

[action]

Re: [action]

[action]

Re: [action]

[action]

Re: [action]

[action]

Re: [action]

[action]

Re: [action]

[action]