tapestodiane | 025

Entry tags:

025 - video

[It's probably been a while since the network heard from this guy. It's safe to say he's been preoccupied - between being lightly obsessed with Tetris, the Halloween possession thing happening (which actually affected him more than he cares to admit), the train hijacking and those three days ... he's had a lot to think about. And, in truth, still has.]

[But Christmas perked him up and with the new year just around the proverbial corner he's feeling like things just might get better, and you know what else never fails to lift his spirits?]

[Local wildlife.]

[That's right. So today the network is treated to a video of a group of trees. It's pretty early so the sunlight is warm and yellow and sparkles just so in the snow, and as the video sloooowly zooms in on one tree in particular ... you can see there's a Hoothoot snugly nestled in a hollow of the trunk, looking asleep and kind of ruffled up.]

[It's actually a very beautiful image, because Cooper has a tendency to catch them like that.]

[And then he zooms out. ...no, wait, he's zooming in again - a little closer this time, really focusing on that sleepy little owl. Despite his thing with birds, he can always appreciate them from a distance. And this little fellow is admittedly very cute.]

Look at that.

The spitting image of comfort. Right there.

[He sounds sort of breathless and utterly wistful, then zooms out again just for a pan of the scenery - snowy tree trunks and the little lake behind him. The water isn't all frozen yet so the sunlight gets to show off in the surface there, too, before Coop aims the gear back towards the bird and zooms in on it again.]

Almost makes you jealous, doesn't it?

[Action for anyone in Ecruteak! He's hanging out just on the edge of the forest, stalking the wildlife.]

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_{[He follows at a safe distance, still looking mightly pleased with himself. He hadn't expected that plan to work out so well so watching his favourite teenager get so utterly owned by her own dog is something of a treat.]}

Need a hand, Heather?

_{[AAH YEP he'll just stand there and breathe in the sweet scent of revenge, shit-eating grin in place. Who knew this man was secretly a bit of a troll?]}

_{[It's a second or two before Heather is PHYSICALLY ABLE to answer, both because she was curled face-down in the snow and because Cujo, brilliant thing that he is, has long since learned how to locate and attack all the ticklish spots.]

[Once she's actually able to roll over and grab the canine's fluffy face in both hands to keep it at bay, she's wearing a big goofy grin that sort of invalidates the words she splutters out at her smug foe.]}

S-screw you, cheater! That was SO against the r-rul-- EUGH, CUJO!

_{[With his snout mushed between her hands and held a safe distance from her face, Cujo had just decided to try his best to reach out with his tongue, instead. Resulting in Heather making a face and letting her head fall back against the snow in order to avoid the long pink thing currently licking thin air.]}

I'm sure you've heard the saying that all is fair in love and war. You declared this a war yourself, Heather. There are no rules.

_{[Which he says very calmly but there is definite laughter in his voice there.]

[He lets them be for a few more seconds before he takes pity on her and offers ADVICE.]}

You can always recall him.

_{[SEE ISN'T THAT OBVIOUS.]}

_{[COOPER YOU TROLL.]

[She can't rightly argue with that, so she decides to mimic her dog and stick her tongue out at him instead, as she attempts to reach for the ball in her pocket. ... Which is sort of hard to do while you're holding a large Growlithe at bay, so ... uh. Give her a minute there, Coop.]}

_{[Oh he will, there's no rush on his end. He has a feeling she'll get back to him for this but it's totally worth it.]

[He'll take the opportunity to make a snowball, too - just in case, hiding it in his pocket. :I he's ready whenever you are.]}

_{[Good thinking, Coop. Planning ahead.]

[After some struggle, she eventually fishes the ball out of her pocket and returns the overenthusiastic pup in a flash of light-- and then flops backwards into the snow, temporarily exhausted.]}

I think that qualifies as cruel and unusual methods of war.

_{[He actually shrugs lightly, tilting his head as he observes her.]}

I wouldn't say that. Using the strengths of your enemies against them is a well-known and commonly attempted tactic.

_{[She starts to haul herself upright out of the snow, sticking her tongue out at him again in earnest. It had been hard to do it with just the right amount of oomph when she'd been trying to fight off her overenthusiastic dog.]}

I bet you wouldn't be sayin' that if I did the same thing to you.

_{[No, Heather. See, some people actually belong to this fabled category called good sports.}

_{[He just grins a sunny grin back at her when she does, countering her immense maturity with the kind of calm confidence winners typically possess. ..cause he totally won that round.]}

Don't bet too hard on that.

Oh yeah?

Oh yeah?

_{[She gets all the way to her feet, dusting snow off the seat of her jeans indignantly.]}

I bet you wouldn't. You'd find some quirky way of like... implying that...

_{[Hm. You know, she's not so good at this whole 'arguing with words' thing. Time to resort to what she knows better. She dips back down abruptly and starts to hastily make another snowball.]}

That what?

_{[He actually laughs a little at the way she can't even really get it out, but when she goes for the snow .. WELL he already has a snowball and this is an opportune moment.]

[Feeling particularly mischievous and/or cruel, he just quietly but swiftly steps close, snowball retrieved from his pocket in hand, and calmly presses it against the base of her head RIGHT there in the angle where head meets neck, aiming to get some cold beneath that jacket of hers.]

[Should he get ready to run yet?]}

_{[She's good at making those things fast, but... she can't compete with a pre-made. The squeak she lets out when he nonchalantly commits the most notorious act in the art of snowball wars is spectacular.]}

OHMYGOD-- COOPER god DAMMIT!

_{[Yes. Yes, he should start running, because her instantaneous reaction is to forget the snowball, whip around like a snapping turtle, and just kind of try to plow into him to knock him over into the snow.]}

_{[Oooh wow and she very nearly gets him, too - he'd expected her to be fast but not such a violent reaction. She definitely knocks him off balance and though he doesn't QUITE fall, he has to scramble to quickly get away from her and prevent just that, and there is a short run before he whirls around to find her.]

[He can't quite keep the laughing smile off his face, even as he's got his hands on his knees and is breathing a little heavy, because oh, he knows he's going to get it now. And that anticipation is honestly kind of fun.]}

_{[Oh yes. Oh yes he is.]

[She's fairly hot on his trail-- although she'd been slowed down somewhat briefly on account of dipping down to grab up more snow-- and guess where that snow is going.]

[With a vengeful cry (... that nonetheless comes from a face that's grinning), she takes advantage of his pause to leap at him again-- this time with a very clear goal in mind. That goal is to try and stuff two handfuls of snow down the back of his collar. ... Admittedly not with the finesse that he'd done it with. But still! EYE FOR AN EYE.]}

_{[BUT HEATHER THAT MAKES THE WORLD BLIND...]

[He's got enough time to compose himself enough to aim to grab her arms in an attempt to keep her at bay because even if he was happy to give her snow like that he's not all too keen on having her return the favour.]

[Of course it's a bit of a gamble, but he doesn't feel like running away, at least not yet. And hey, hoping for the best here. Best case scenario, he could totally knock HER over.]}

_{[With her snow-filled hands held at bay, Heather braces her feet in the snow and strains to try and get them close enough to deliver their ICY VENGEANCE, but, well, Cooper's bigger and stronger than she is. So she just sort of stands there and PUSHES, grinning ferociously.]}

What, can't take your own medicine--?!

_{[Because that's totally the issue here. He's just holding you back because he can't handle all this.]}

_{[And he'll PUSH BACK, just to keep her where she is.]}

Drop your weapons, Heather!

_{[And that's with a playful, boyish delight, even as he twists one of her arms slightly to make her 'drop' it. Not in a way that'd hurt her, of course, but he's wrestled with too many suspects not to incorporate it in a playfight, even if just a little bit.]}

_{[It's like cops and robbers! Except in the snow.]

[That delight is sort of infectious. Even as she loses some of the snow in that one hand, she's laughing openly.]}

Not 'till you pry 'em from my cold, dead fingers, Officer!

_{[Since clearly she can't reach his neck, she takes to just sort of LUNGING forward repeatedly in an attempt to counteract his pushing, hands just aimed at his FACE now. If she can't mash it down his collar, she'll get it in his hair! ... Or try to. He's still got a pretty good grip on her.]}

You should seriously consider cooperation-

_{[Oh pffsch he leans his head back because no, he's not very keen on having melty snow in his face either. And his height is definitely working in his advantage, so she's not getting there ... well, it might be a matter of time, because she's admittedly sneaky and persistent, but right now, nope.]

[He shifts his grip on her arms, waits a moment aaaand tries to flip her around to get her arms up her back. YEAH HE COP TRAINED. Although not actually an officer. He always thought that seemed like quite a thankless job, at least in comparison to his. (People respect feds more, you know?)]}

It might help your defense.

_{[Sometimes it just sucks being short, man.]

[If he'd been content to just let her keep on hopping around like a monkey, she'd have found a way to get that snow mashed into some sensitive spot eventually. She's resourceful like that. But he actually has FORESIGHT, so instead she just makes a noise of playful outrage as she's flipped around, boots actually leaving the snow for a second or two in the process. She's not very heavy.]

[But not one to be defeated, she clenches her fists harder around the snow even as her arms are twisted behind her back and just tries to slam backwards to see if she can get him to back up and avoid her gangly teenager elbows.]}

I won't need a defense, 'cause you'll never take me alive!

_{[Coop chuckles, not bothering with an answer as he tries to keep those honestly sharp elbows way from him. He does wind up taking a step or two back but makes sure to keep his hands firmy around her forearms, pushing back to keep her roughly in place.]

[BUT IT'S A LITTLE TRICKY TO BALANCE because he doesn't think she's above a kick or a stomp, so he's a tiny bit hesitant in the scuffle as he tries to keep it all in his head.]

[It's been ages since he last wrestled with someone like this, and even longer since he did for fun.]}

_{[She's not above it at ALL. And in fact, once he's actually pushing her arms away from him, her first response is to lean forward and thrust a foot behind her, not trying to kick so much as throw him off-balance-- maybe trip him if she can. Because if he falls down, maybe she can escape! ... And then pelt him with snow while he's down because she's honorable like that.]}

_{[Oh, yeah, all the honor awards for this kid. Totally.]

[He didn't expect that though, the lean, and as it tugs him along with her somewhat she does get him off balance.]

[Well damn.]

[BUT. He can improvise.]

[So while that didn't make him fall, he's going to let himself do that anyway - while yanking her along.]

[See, if he winds up on the grown? So's she. At least that's the plan.]}

_{[SHE'D PUT LEGENDARY WARRIORS TO SHAME.]

[The crow of triumph she lets out when he starts to topple is quickly cut off with a squawk when she's just... yanked down with him.]

[They tumble to the snow in a heap.]

[Surprised but undeterred, Heather immediately throws herself into trying to squirm out of his grasp. Something that, being a small person with a history full of worming her way out of confrontations with people and things much bigger and stronger, she's pretty good at. But good enough to get away from an FBI agent? WE'LL SEE.]}

Rrrghf, let me go and no one gets hurt!

_{[Because she'd totally spare him from merciless snowball-pelting if she was freed. Totally.]}

_{[Yeah, he doesn't buy that. SO MUCH HE DOESN'T EVEN ANSWER other than a breathed "right" as he tries to figure out how to lock her movements.]

[SO absolutely not letting go, even if it's proving rather difficult. Ideally, he'd have a knee in her back and her hands cuffed at this point, but he doesn't (doesn't, in fact, have any cuffs anyway), so ... he'll have to get creative. And fast, or she'll definitely break loose by sheer persistence.]

[Let's try throwing some snow at her face and see what happens!]}

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