tapestodiane | 025

Entry tags:

025 - video

[It's probably been a while since the network heard from this guy. It's safe to say he's been preoccupied - between being lightly obsessed with Tetris, the Halloween possession thing happening (which actually affected him more than he cares to admit), the train hijacking and those three days ... he's had a lot to think about. And, in truth, still has.]

[But Christmas perked him up and with the new year just around the proverbial corner he's feeling like things just might get better, and you know what else never fails to lift his spirits?]

[Local wildlife.]

[That's right. So today the network is treated to a video of a group of trees. It's pretty early so the sunlight is warm and yellow and sparkles just so in the snow, and as the video sloooowly zooms in on one tree in particular ... you can see there's a Hoothoot snugly nestled in a hollow of the trunk, looking asleep and kind of ruffled up.]

[It's actually a very beautiful image, because Cooper has a tendency to catch them like that.]

[And then he zooms out. ...no, wait, he's zooming in again - a little closer this time, really focusing on that sleepy little owl. Despite his thing with birds, he can always appreciate them from a distance. And this little fellow is admittedly very cute.]

Look at that.

The spitting image of comfort. Right there.

[He sounds sort of breathless and utterly wistful, then zooms out again just for a pan of the scenery - snowy tree trunks and the little lake behind him. The water isn't all frozen yet so the sunlight gets to show off in the surface there, too, before Coop aims the gear back towards the bird and zooms in on it again.]

Almost makes you jealous, doesn't it?

[Action for anyone in Ecruteak! He's hanging out just on the edge of the forest, stalking the wildlife.]

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Can you prooooove I threw the first one?

CAN you?

_{[Shouted tauntingly. She knows she's the only one around who could have, but hey. It's fun to argue.]

[Needless to say, she's all about working FAST, so before too much time has elapsed, she pops back up and hurls several in his direction in a small volley. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!]}

_{[He doesn't answer that, but he does grin to himself, because given enough time he probably could without the shadow of a doubt - that said, he doesn't feel very inclined to, and he needs to make MOAR SNOWBALLS.]

[Hers swish by not soon after and he has to stand behind the tree kind of comically like people in cartoons in order to not get hit because they're really not that thick and leaning out even to check what's happening is totally dangerous in this game.]

[He doesn't feel up for snowballs in the face, after all, and a few of those came pretty close to his hiding place. He's sure at least one hit the tree trunk.]

[When he thinks she's at least temporarily out he sloooowly leans out to check ... he thinks he's in the clear, but he can't be too sure ...]

[and then decides that he'll take that chance, gathers up his handful of snowballs and starts throwing back.]

[She's probably already taken cover, but you know what, whatever. If he gets one or two lucky shots in, he might get her anyway.]}

_{[His luck's run out for the moment-- although his snowballs sail neatly over the snowbank where she's hiding and paff into the snow somewhere beyond, there's no yelp or general noise of outrage that would indicate she's been hit.]

[This is because when he ducked for cover himself, she'd scurried around the bank and thrown herself to the ground-- crawling swiftly behind a smaller bank on her stomach.]

[Once, over a year ago, Old Snake had taught her some stealth basics. She doesn't have the handy-dandy cardboard box he'd given her, but then again, it probably wouldn't be much use out in the snow.]

[But HEY if she can get closer without getting hit.... >8)]}

_{[Aah, he's gonna have to give it to her - she's definitely a clever girl, and a worthy opponent.]

[He doesn't stop to look too hard, but kicks up some more snow on the will-at-some-point-be-cover and goes to cover behind the next tree, keeping an ear out.]

[He thinks she might have moved, but he's not sure IF and even less sure WHERE. He obviously also knows a thing or two about stealthing, what with the many times he's gone undercover and on stakeouts, and even if it's not like ... military training or whatever it's still something he kinda knows.]

[But for now, he'll make more snowballs, and just ... listen.]}

_{[It's hard to be totally silent in snow-- which Heather finds out quickly the first couple of times she tries to get closer. CRUNCH CRUNCH-SQUEAK-- dammit.]

[Okay, so she'll just... crawl VERY SLOWLY to the next back. ... Keeping her head down while she does.]}

_{[He totally heard her. Which means he's got a general direction to go for, but he still doesn't want to try and spot her. And when he loses, well, hear of her when she slows down, because that does work in her favour, he slowly stands, leans close against the tree and listens some more.]

[Nothing like trying to hear where people are than being as quiet as you can yourself, after all.]}

_{[This is so intense. So intense.]

[You know that giggly feeling you get in sneaking games like this, where it's so hard to avoid cracking yourself up and giving yourself away, but otherwise the jig is up and you'll ruin the fun?]

[Heather's dealing with that, but to her credit, she's biting back the urge to just throw herself out of her cover and cackle maniacally.]

[Slooooowly crawling....]

[Somewhere there's the plodding noise of snow slipping off a tree branch and hitting the ground, but it's hard to say if it's HER or not.]}

_{[Well, he's going to assume it's her. She knows where HE is - him, he has to take chances.]

[So he does, swiftly turning and tossing a snowball in that direction, eyes narrowing as he scans the area. Still quiet. Maybe she'll give herself away.]

[If it WASN'T her, there's still a small chance she might react to it if she was close by, after all.]

[He's got a few snowballs in his coat pockets at this point because they are big and easily accessible enough, and he's just lurking behind his tree.]

[.. and yes. Yes, it's SO intense and actually a TON of fun. Who knew sneaking around could be such a blast when there aren't real weapons involved?]}

_{[... Okay, she can't wait too long. Life is short. At the sound of the plopping snow far away, Heather leans up briefly to check on his positio-- HOLY SHIT HE'S LOOKING IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!!]

[Instantly she snatches up a handful of snow, compressing it in her fingers, and chucks it at the agent while his head's turned.]

[... She TRIES to duck back down as soon as it's thrown, but it's a wild move and she probably gave herself away.]}

_{[SNOWBALL ON HIS NECK FFFFFFFFUUUUU--]

[Well that gets a reaction as he kind of jerks around, raising a shoulder involuntarily because oh god cold cold cold right THERE, but yeah he spots her and man is he going to get revenge for that.]

[Stalking towards her, he's just going to throw snowballs as he goes. And he's definitely not going to lose track of her this time.]}

_{[The first of the snowballs manages to hit before she's ducked out of the way-- the rest hit the bank she'd been hiding. But that's little comfort, because she knows her cover is blown and he is WALKING TOWARDS HER NOW aw crap.]

[Gathering a huge hunk of snow in her arms, she clenches it into a more solid form before popping up and hurling it wildly in his direction with both arms and RUNNING in broad bounds through the snow. Is he good at hitting running targets? SHE'LL FIND OUT.]}

_{[SHE WILL. And she'll find out that he is, in fact, VERY good at hitting running targets, even if he doesn't get to shine all too much since he shortly runs out of snowballs.]

[But he probably managed to make a pretty good statement there anyway. DON'T YOU SNEAK ON DALE COOPER.]

[Keeping an eye on her, he leans down to start making new ones. He's definitely not going to let her get away with that stunt again if he can help it. :I]

[He's getting pretty snowed up at this point, and the light coating of snow on his chest where she hit him with that weird ... snow catapult thing she did, what should one even call it, is just one spot of many. They're both going to be freezing later, but hey. That's part of the fun.]}

_{[RUN RUN RUN can't catch me I'm the-- oh SNAP ow hey he has good aim. His last few snowballs strike Heather in the back and shoulders, making her yelp out a couple of high-pitched "GAH!"s before he's forced to make more.]

[She bounds a bit of a distance after that, before stopping and taking cover behind a tree to check on his location cautiously, peering out from behind it.]

[It got the message across, but she'll just completely ignore that statement in favor of HAHAHA I TOTALLY SNUCK UP ON YOU FOR A FEW MINUTES THERE COOP LOL.]}

_{[WELL GOLLY GEE YOU TOTALLY DID BUT YOU'RE ALSO GOING TO PAY FOR IT.]

[When she slinks back behind a tree (and boy is he keeping close tabs on which one) he realizes that he doesn't have any nearby shelter to do the same. Looking around for a moment, debating on which approach is the best one here (he could go back into the forest or just try to build a bank sort of thing on the spot), an idea occurs to him.]

[Of course.]

[Stepping out more into the open ground, he whistles loudly as he scans the surroudings for one particularly furry derpball, clapping his thigh in the well-known sign of "C'MERE, BOY."]}

Cujo! Come on, fella!

_{[... Oh, Cooper. You brilliant, evil mastermind, you.]

[At first Heather blinks and squints in confusion from behind her tree. What's he-- .... and then it hits her.]

[Her face when she pops out from behind her cover is priceless in all its indignation.]}

What?!

That's not f--

_{[And then she has to take off running, because Cujo, like the good dog he is, came bounding back over to them from whatever patch of open snow he'd been rolling in and promptly exploded over the top of a nearby snowbank in a flurry of snow and excitement. And also like the good dog he is, the first person he makes a beeline for regardless of who called him is his trainer.]}

God dammit!

_{[Ah, that'll teach her.]

[And it looks so comical when she takes off into a run with her own pokémon pursuing her, he can't help but just .. stop and stare, grinning wide, bright and happy as he looks after the pair.]

[8) this is shaping up to be a damn fine day.]}

_{[SHE WILL LEARN NOTHING-- or at least that next time it should occur to her to RECALL Cujo instead of just sort of flailing away from him through the snow.]

[In any case, if she had the TIME to be infuriated at his cheery grin, she would be-- but it's not overly long after Cujo comes merrily barreling after her that he does wind up tripping her and sending her face-first into the snow, where she proceeds to curl up into an audibly-protesting ball in defense against his insistent nosing. Because he is Cujo and he's long since learned that when someone is on the ground, that means he needs to try and burrow under their arms to get at their face.]

[It's a good thing she's mostly gotten over her canine phobia when it comes to Cujo-- this sort of thing is par for the course now. This time last year? She was still getting the occasional panic attack when he decided to get all jumpy.]}

CUJO! No! Bad d--gaah!

_{[He follows at a safe distance, still looking mightly pleased with himself. He hadn't expected that plan to work out so well so watching his favourite teenager get so utterly owned by her own dog is something of a treat.]}

Need a hand, Heather?

_{[AAH YEP he'll just stand there and breathe in the sweet scent of revenge, shit-eating grin in place. Who knew this man was secretly a bit of a troll?]}

_{[It's a second or two before Heather is PHYSICALLY ABLE to answer, both because she was curled face-down in the snow and because Cujo, brilliant thing that he is, has long since learned how to locate and attack all the ticklish spots.]

[Once she's actually able to roll over and grab the canine's fluffy face in both hands to keep it at bay, she's wearing a big goofy grin that sort of invalidates the words she splutters out at her smug foe.]}

S-screw you, cheater! That was SO against the r-rul-- EUGH, CUJO!

_{[With his snout mushed between her hands and held a safe distance from her face, Cujo had just decided to try his best to reach out with his tongue, instead. Resulting in Heather making a face and letting her head fall back against the snow in order to avoid the long pink thing currently licking thin air.]}

I'm sure you've heard the saying that all is fair in love and war. You declared this a war yourself, Heather. There are no rules.

_{[Which he says very calmly but there is definite laughter in his voice there.]

[He lets them be for a few more seconds before he takes pity on her and offers ADVICE.]}

You can always recall him.

_{[SEE ISN'T THAT OBVIOUS.]}

_{[COOPER YOU TROLL.]

[She can't rightly argue with that, so she decides to mimic her dog and stick her tongue out at him instead, as she attempts to reach for the ball in her pocket. ... Which is sort of hard to do while you're holding a large Growlithe at bay, so ... uh. Give her a minute there, Coop.]}

_{[Oh he will, there's no rush on his end. He has a feeling she'll get back to him for this but it's totally worth it.]

[He'll take the opportunity to make a snowball, too - just in case, hiding it in his pocket. :I he's ready whenever you are.]}

_{[Good thinking, Coop. Planning ahead.]

[After some struggle, she eventually fishes the ball out of her pocket and returns the overenthusiastic pup in a flash of light-- and then flops backwards into the snow, temporarily exhausted.]}

I think that qualifies as cruel and unusual methods of war.

_{[He actually shrugs lightly, tilting his head as he observes her.]}

I wouldn't say that. Using the strengths of your enemies against them is a well-known and commonly attempted tactic.

_{[She starts to haul herself upright out of the snow, sticking her tongue out at him again in earnest. It had been hard to do it with just the right amount of oomph when she'd been trying to fight off her overenthusiastic dog.]}

I bet you wouldn't be sayin' that if I did the same thing to you.

_{[No, Heather. See, some people actually belong to this fabled category called good sports.}

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[Action] HAHAHA PERFECT ICON

[Action] THANK YOU, THANK YOU

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